Ironic Music Critic Pillows

"Who told the quartet to play 'Highway to Hell'?"

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

Elvis fan holding a sign reading 'NOT MY KING'.

A lady playing piano and a man talking to her

"Of course I'm going to give him a tip - he should take lessons!"

'What was the first music they ever said 'this isn't even music' about?'

"I'm astounded that your dog is channeling Eubie Blake! Has he never heard of Elton John?"

The Music Critic.

'Horace spends his spare time being a rock critic.'

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

A singer being criticised

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

'I hate these purists who play Bach without any pedal'

"What do you mean, who are my influences?"

At the CD shop.

Snake Eats the Snake Charmer.

"I don't do spells. I'm a wizard at deciphering rap lyrics."

Focus Groupies

'Your hair is messy,stand up straight. You look unkempt.'

Smashed harp...

'Hey, thanks for comin' out tonight. All these songs are from our new album, which was inspired by a recent trip to the grocery store...'

"It's witless, repetitive, and irritating. It's great!"

"'50 Shades of Grey?' - Oh you mean the 'Guide to Modern Music...'"

'I know.. Let's write a song all about the evils of material wealth. After all, that last one netted us a bloody fortune!'

The critic as band leader

"Hell, as Jean-Paul Sartre once said, is other peoples' inheritance tracks."

the world's first music critic...

"Anybody else want to tell this singin' cowboy he sounds a mite pitchy?"