Ironic Music Enthusiast Pillows

'I know.. Let's write a song all about the evils of material wealth. After all, that last one netted us a bloody fortune!'

Trump! The Musical

"Who told the quartet to play 'Highway to Hell'?"

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

Fuzz - Fuzzy writes a song with a positive message.

There were a million things Alexander Hamilton hadn't done

"Home school marching band"

"It was so depressing. When I go to the theatre, I want to be entertained."

"Javert" Would Like To Use Your Current Location

"This next song is also about air-conditioning."

'Greatest Hits Compilations not yet turned into a terrible Ben Elton show.'

"I've done this show six hundred thirty-seven times. Tonight in Act Two I'm going to sing 'The Jet Song' from 'West Side Story'."

At the CD shop.

"Missed the musical. Downloaded the ringtone."

"Tonight's performance has been canceled, because the star of our show has decided that musicals are stupid."

Liza Minnelli

"Enough medical mumbo jumbo, just give it to me straight, Doc-will I ever be able to play piano again?"

'Don't you know any other song besides 'Singing in the Rain'?'

Drunken sailor

'Hey, thanks for comin' out tonight. All these songs are from our new album, which was inspired by a recent trip to the grocery store...'

'DA-DAA!' 'Uh-ho! Looks like we've got ourselves a show trial.'

'While 10-15 years of cellaring are recommended and would certainly improve the bouquet and taste, no, there'sno reason why you can't go out back, behind the dumpster and down the whole thing in 1 chug.'

'Hey man that's a gas!'

On the Town.

"I'm not mocking your song—I'm sampling it."

"The good news is he costs a quarter of what a string quarted would; the bad news is that, of course, he's suffocating."

There were drastic cutbacks in the orchestra's budget.

'Then...we went back and identified moments that cried out for a song.'

Let George Do It!

Chickens performing the Sound of Music.

"I'm singing in the rain, I'm singing in the rain..."

Therapists to watch out for: 'How long have you had this unnatural fear of wolves?'