Music Irony Lover Pillows

"Would you care for some romantic music with your dinner?"

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'

"Who told the quartet to play 'Highway to Hell'?"

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

Right-thinking people against wrong-thinking people

'You keep turning them out and I'll dig a parking garage.'

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."

Pub. This is John. He also loves obscure bands until they're popular then hates them. The Druidiots. Luckies. 50 ale.

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

Leaking Hudson River paintings.

'I want my lectures to have entertainment value.'

Please help. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

'The NHS is committed to patients having control over their care...So if you'd like to check your symptoms online I'll be back later for a diagnosis and careplan.'

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the marital bonds which have connected her with another..."

"Oh sure, it's easy to blame your husband, when he's not here to defend himself."

An artist creates a sculpture of a "thumbs up" and is then crushed by it.

"The house next door is slated for demolition, but your house is in the way."

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

Perfection Troubleshootors.

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

'I only make predictions in retrospect.'

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'

"I hope there's nothing genetically modified in this."