Ironic Lifestyle Depiction Gifts

"He wanted to be buried how he lived his life."

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

Proud of herself for "never owning a tv" Emily watches eight episodes of a mediocre tv show on her laptop while in bed.

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"My Weight Watchers meeting's tonight. I'd better get inside."

When Tia Carmen says... "It's time to eat healthy!" it means... "I'm only using one stick of butter instead of three."

"We're planning on sending him away to be reared by experts."

"What a success! We've sold all our copies. You're a great team! Let's go for beer, pizza and crisps - my treat!"

"it's just... we're too lazy to have any of our own."

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

"Well your results would be normal if you were a 108 and smoked a 60 a day!"

'I can't take much more of the happiness treadmill.'

'But I feel quite healthy.'

"I'm trying to eat more vegetarians."

'You will make big bucks, then you'll give it all away to reduce your taxes.'

"Yes, dear, we're caught in a cycle...but you can hardly call it a vicious cycle."

"A lifetime of illicit substance abuse, chain-smoking, excessive alcohol consumption and eating nothing but crap . . . and you have the nerve to tell me I'm dying of 'natural causes!'"

'This is a magnificent restaurant. Which fork should I use to comb my hair?'

Lager drinker and a vegetarian eating together.

"Great spot, Al. I didn't know there was anyplace left that permitted cigar smoking naked."

'Gloria, I want you to meet my significant other.'

American 'Idle'.

Nathan is a strict vegetatetarian.

'He used the treadmill, once.'

"I'm a green thief."

"We have a new exercise routine. I moved the refrigerator to the basement and the TV to the attic."

Hole-istic Healing.

Joan falls off her fat free diet!

Light Distilled Water

Environmentally friendly woman putting slug killer down

'Mom, at what age do you lose it and start posting photos of your meals on social media?'

'Of course I'm having my five a day - Sex, drugs, rock and roll and the match'

"I'm packing in the jogging. It's affecting my health."

Superficial library.