Satirical Lifestyle Lovers Gifts

"We're planning on sending him away to be reared by experts."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Novel

U of Debt

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

So I guess the moral of Hansel and Gretel is always carry your cell phone!

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"What's wrong with swallowing up other companies?"

Next gen pregnancy tests.

"She wishes to range free!"

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"Where we lack in productivity is made up by extremely low employee turnover."

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

"Your taxes,pension and health deductions have exceeded your wages - here's your bill."

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

'Take us to your crash test facilities. We're here to liberate our compatriots!'

Police film evidence

Novak Djokovic has his visa denied to play in Australia as he is unvaccinated

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

The Great Leap Forward

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

Limerick On A Grecian Urn

'What I lack in cognitive flexibility, I make up for in moral flexibility.'

The White House: Some Assembly Required.

"It's somehow comforting to witness a revival of the classics in motivational technique."

'Even in the mundane tasks, aim for perfection!'

Why Superman flies himself

'Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.'

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.