Ironic Inheritance Enthusiast Pillows

"Someday, son, all this will be mine."

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

'Your uncle donated his brain to Harvard and, unfortunately, they used it to figure out a way to get the rest of his money.'

"There's no money in your uncle's will. You are, however, directed to maintain his 5 cats and Facebook account."

'We're the Meeks and we're here to see about our inheritance of the Earth.'

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

'He has his father's feet.'

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

Solicitor tells cats: 'It's unorthodox, I know, but old Mrs Featherstone has left her entire estate to her immediate family.'

"For my will I decided to cut out the middle man and bequeath all my money to the IRS."

"Your aunt has bequeathed to you her collection of toilet paper, soap and towels from 385 hotels from all over the world."

"Your grandfather decided to put his entire fortune into a trust fund until Judgement Day."

'...And to spare my relatives the burden of inheritance taxes, I've decided not to give them anything.'

Tonight's Lecture: Contesting the Will. It's going to be about either inheritance law or who really wrote Shakespeare's plays.

'As you know, your father liked the sport of Boxing...'

'One of these days this will all be yours and by then it should be making a profit.'

"Someday, son, all this crap will be yours."

'...and to you, he has left his leprosy.'

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

"One day son, all this will probably belong to some little floozy you'll marry."

'Your Great Uncle has left you all his money in this family heirloom!'

'...and someday this will all be yours, Son.'

'Your uncle had a very unusual will.'

"As you all know your dear deceased Aunt Bessie was a very devoted cat lover...."

Now I'll read your father's 6th will and testament, which I'm sure you know may change a few more times.

'... and to my yoga instructor, I leave my entire body.'

'I hereby leave all my debts and overdrafts to the IRS. . .'

"One day soon all this will be yours!"

"My father was a very succesful man. He left me enough money that I could marry an idiot."