Inheritance Humor Fan Pillows

Solicitor tells cats: 'It's unorthodox, I know, but old Mrs Featherstone has left her entire estate to her immediate family.'

"One day, son, all this will be yours."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

The Brothers Grime

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

10 K Tail-Chase

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Suffering from Cooties?

A Golden Non-Retriever

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

The Snooze Bar.

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Beer Parasol.

Winter Weather.

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

'Sigh! So that's what love is all about...'

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

No, I don

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

tRUMp, Pirate President

'Joe has been partying hard!'

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'