Inheritance Humor Fan Pillows

Solicitor tells cats: 'It's unorthodox, I know, but old Mrs Featherstone has left her entire estate to her immediate family.'

"One day, son, all this will be yours."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

The Brothers Grime

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

Suffering from Cooties?

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

A Golden Non-Retriever

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Beer Parasol.

Winter Weather.

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

'Sigh! So that's what love is all about...'

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."