Ironic Fan Club Member Gifts

Skinheads for Eva Gabor

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

Backfire

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

'Let me guess...you're a knights supporter?'

"Nice haircut."

'Hey, buddy, do you mind lending me a hand? I appear to be stuck in this thing.'

'You're suffering from job-stress insomnia. Stop counting sheep to fall asleep.'

'Why, yes, I remember you. May I suggest an undrinkable pinot grigio that goes well with a bad tip?'

"It's Friday the 13th. I feel lucky!"

"I don't like the way the new pastor is looking at his flock."

"It's your ribs. I'm afraid they're delicious."

Guide dog with eyesight proplem.

Girl Scout cookies selling the girl scout.

"We interrupt this program to bring you a special message from your teachers..."

'I told him we're becoming an endangered species. He just laughed.'

'This is the kind of hat you wear to bed.'

Captain Pointy No.38 - Fan club meeting a trap

"If you don't start misbehaving, there won't be any Halloween candy for you."

Man has a dream about a clumsy sheep.

'He's been at it too long. Now, when the bell rings, Dr. Pavlov salivates.'

"My all-time favorite rock group? That would be The Grateful Dead."

"You mean you blame your failure in life on not having won the Irish Sweepstakes in 1970?"

Misery Memoirs Bumper Pack.

Did You Know That...Scientists in Illinois, USA, claim we would live a longer life if we were more like elves?

"And Moses climbed the mountain day and night searching for some sort of sign from God when suddenly he saw it"

'This one contains the commandments that will make people ENJOY life! Ha ha, just kidding.'

"God, I hate to fly."

'No thanks. I'm just looking...'

The 'Death Tax'

"We're not all grim you know - I'm a happy reaper."

'Due to all the government bailouts, you'll need to earn more. We're counting on you to bail us out.'

You are here.

"Wow, you're dressed to kill."

Snowmen go on their honeymoon to Miami.