Ironic Fan Club Member T-Shirts

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

Backfire

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

'Let me guess...you're a knights supporter?'

"Nice haircut."

'Hey, buddy, do you mind lending me a hand? I appear to be stuck in this thing.'

'You're suffering from job-stress insomnia. Stop counting sheep to fall asleep.'

'Why, yes, I remember you. May I suggest an undrinkable pinot grigio that goes well with a bad tip?'

"It's Friday the 13th. I feel lucky!"

"I don't like the way the new pastor is looking at his flock."

"It's your ribs. I'm afraid they're delicious."

Girl Scout cookies selling the girl scout.

Guide dog with eyesight proplem.

"We interrupt this program to bring you a special message from your teachers..."

'This is the kind of hat you wear to bed.'

'I told him we're becoming an endangered species. He just laughed.'

Captain Pointy No.38 - Fan club meeting a trap

Man has a dream about a clumsy sheep.

"If you don't start misbehaving, there won't be any Halloween candy for you."

'He's been at it too long. Now, when the bell rings, Dr. Pavlov salivates.'

"You mean you blame your failure in life on not having won the Irish Sweepstakes in 1970?"

Did You Know That...Scientists in Illinois, USA, claim we would live a longer life if we were more like elves?

"And Moses climbed the mountain day and night searching for some sort of sign from God when suddenly he saw it"

"My all-time favorite rock group? That would be The Grateful Dead."

Misery Memoirs Bumper Pack.

'This one contains the commandments that will make people ENJOY life! Ha ha, just kidding.'

"God, I hate to fly."

The 'Death Tax'

'No thanks. I'm just looking...'

"We're not all grim you know - I'm a happy reaper."

'My pitcher needs to get fired up by the home crowd. Pass the collection basket.'

Snowmen go on their honeymoon to Miami.

'Due to all the government bailouts, you'll need to earn more. We're counting on you to bail us out.'

"Wow, you're dressed to kill."