Ironic Car Buyer Pillows

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

Prepare to meet thy mechanic.

Is this for wiping greasy hands?

'I love to see you all so busy!'

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

"If you want to buy this, I'm afraid I'm going to need to see some justification."

"You have 24/7 roadside assistance to compensate for your new car's immediate depreciation."

The next song's called "Went on Prozac, Found a Job, Bought a Car, Met a Girl, Got a Puppy Blues."

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

'If it starts, notice the roar of power.'

"It's perfect for commuting to college. Definitely a learning experience."

All you'd expect in a British car!

"Thanks for fixing the muffler."

It was owned by a little old lady who could make a decision faster than you.

'I was looking for something more passive-aggressive.'

Catchment Area for Teachers

"Actually, I forgot to subtract the disinterest."

'It's HIS fault, he was doing the speed limit!'

"Actually, the 24/7 Roadside Assistance kinda makes up for the 24/7 vehicle depreciation."

"We raised the price but lowered the down payment... so it kind of evens out."

"It's worse than I thought."

'Now that we've lulled you with our no-haggle sales policy, our finance manager will apply heavy arm twisting for dealer add-ons.'

"This model comes in all wheel drive and the popular sex drive!"

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

". . . Hey, hold that thought, I gotta use the windshield. . ."

'Should you buy or lease your first wheel?'

'Dependable, basic transportation. Guaranteed to drive the ladies wild, especially low-maintenance ones.'

'We have a new tribe member everyone. We will call him'Crashes-His-Volvo.'

"This model comes loaded with options, including a parking space in your neighborhood."

"Baldo, I don't need advice on looking cool in a new car."

'I see the problem.' Car grill looks like teeth.

"For safety, the daytime running lights burn continuously, augmented by the horn, which also blows continuously."

'Just a few things, I'm afraid. . .'

"This model is priced higher, but it comes with glow-in-the-dark stars."