Ironic Car Buyer Prints

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

Is this for wiping greasy hands?

'I love to see you all so busy!'

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

"If you want to buy this, I'm afraid I'm going to need to see some justification."

"You have 24/7 roadside assistance to compensate for your new car's immediate depreciation."

'If it starts, notice the roar of power.'

"It's perfect for commuting to college. Definitely a learning experience."

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

All you'd expect in a British car!

It was owned by a little old lady who could make a decision faster than you.

"Thanks for fixing the muffler."

'I was looking for something more passive-aggressive.'

Catchment Area for Teachers

'Now that we've lulled you with our no-haggle sales policy, our finance manager will apply heavy arm twisting for dealer add-ons.'

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

"It's worse than I thought."

"Actually, I forgot to subtract the disinterest."

"This model comes in all wheel drive and the popular sex drive!"

'It's HIS fault, he was doing the speed limit!'

"Actually, the 24/7 Roadside Assistance kinda makes up for the 24/7 vehicle depreciation."

"We raised the price but lowered the down payment... so it kind of evens out."

". . . Hey, hold that thought, I gotta use the windshield. . ."

'Should you buy or lease your first wheel?'

'Dependable, basic transportation. Guaranteed to drive the ladies wild, especially low-maintenance ones.'

'Just a few things, I'm afraid. . .'

'We have a new tribe member everyone. We will call him'Crashes-His-Volvo.'

"This model comes loaded with options, including a parking space in your neighborhood."

"For safety, the daytime running lights burn continuously, augmented by the horn, which also blows continuously."

"This model is priced higher, but it comes with glow-in-the-dark stars."

'I see the problem.' Car grill looks like teeth.

"Dad's helping me buy a car. They're giving us a deal just to get rid of us."