Quirky Car Owner Pillows

'It's unusual, but the manufacturer guarantees you'll never have your car stolen.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: I think I prefer the dice.

'I see the problem.' Car grill looks like teeth.

"I brake for all Police Cars."

Dog Walking Services

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

Cats on Board.

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

Man whistles while driving his car.

Dog Training. Most of the choices the dogs made for their book reports are logical. The labrador retriever chose "Catch-22." The terrier, who loves to dig, chose "Journey to the Center of the Earth." The basset hound is doing his on "The Howling." and the shar-pei picked "A Wrinkle in Time." But the dachshund's choice confuses me. Even with the ground-hugging physique, he selected "Wuthering Heights."

Parts of an automobile

'We've found the problem...'

"The next time you have an 'emergency', have it on the roof like every other self-respecting bird!"

"Now, son, hitting a car is all about timing. You'll want to release about here..."

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

Speed limit 70mph and up.

"Do you need an anthropomorphic car with a monkey chauffeur in the city? No. Do you want it? Definitely."

'Oversensitive Car Alarm'

GPS: 'Sorry return to the main road.'

Spring Damage.

Man sees boar running down road and yells, 'Road Hog!'

'Now you do know she needs a bath every week and an oil change every 3000 miles?'

'My funny little car is making funny little noises.'

"It runs on helium."

Frog rearview mirror ornaments.

"Have you got it in beige?"

Have you installed the heater?

Funky Auto Repair: 'Bad driver special: But first repair job, get 2nd repair job, half price'

"That's the problem with imports. Most of them come from another country."

". . . Hey, hold that thought, I gotta use the windshield. . ."

'Not my idea of an open top car'

"Do you have something in a smaller pig?"

"First."