Iron Pillows

Man with a sign that says: Violence Never Solves Anything, has been knock out cold.

"I know this is going to sound completely crazy and off the wall - but do you, by any chance, know how to iron?"

Shepherd and eurydice

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

"Bond James, Bond."

They hated me.

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Domestic Superheroes!!

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

Showbiz Awards

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

Benedict Cumberbatch

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

'They all want to play the star.'

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Extreme miming"

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

'Hamlet'

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."