Iron Scholar Pillows

"Actually I'm doing this to stand out more in the scholarly community."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Lactose Intolerant

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

'Miss Carruthers, check and see if we have an extradition treaty with Disneyland.'

"My career's in shreds, but on the bright side, so are my files."

"The Supreme Court says a corporation is a 'person?' Well, have you ever tried to take a corporation out for a nice, friendly beer?"

K9 Literati

Truth

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

"At First Infidelity we're all about integrity...."

'I want to chuck all the spelling and math and just get back to playing with blocks.'

'There have been a few niggling little concerns expressed about the lack of diversity in the supreme court.'

Gary misread the new policy on 'Free Thinking' in the work place.

"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."

Man commiting suicide finds the treasure at the bottom of the sea.

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point'. Tennyson.'

'Of course I hired Andrew. He's the best divorce lawyer around! Unfortunately, he's also the rat I want to get divorced from...'

'Wow! School's only been out for ten minutes, and I've already forgotten everything I learned.'

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'