Iron Disciple Pillows

Jehovah's Fitness

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Moses on the web

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

God's Phone

"I have an app for that."

"And always remember...If you're going to be sick, always do it on the carpet. It's more absorbent."

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Follow God On Twitter

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

"Unplug and chill out."

'Does it come on Disc?'

"No matter the weather or what's on my plate, I'm here at five. That's discipline."

"Our father who art at www.heaven.com..."

Way too much anthropomorphising

"No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants."

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

"The time has come to reflect and ask ourselves... 'what would Jesus tweet?'"

'Our church funds seem to be in the computer cloud of unknowing.'

'To everything there is a season; a time to cut, and a time to paste...'

You Have 1 New Messages

'Your mom too? Always saying, 'You never do anything constructive.''

Priest's computer screen reads: 'e-confession. Please type 10 Hail Marys ... and no cut'n'paste ...'