Brew Disciple Pillows

Moses on the web

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

God's Phone

"I have an app for that."

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

"And always remember...If you're going to be sick, always do it on the carpet. It's more absorbent."

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Follow God On Twitter

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

"Our father who art at www.heaven.com..."

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

'Does it come on Disc?'

Way too much anthropomorphising

"No matter the weather or what's on my plate, I'm here at five. That's discipline."

Nothing like that first cup of coffee, eh, Frank?

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

'We've lost the ability to fly Dad: To fly! How is that evolution?'

"The time has come to reflect and ask ourselves... 'what would Jesus tweet?'"

'To everything there is a season; a time to cut, and a time to paste...'

'Our church funds seem to be in the computer cloud of unknowing.'

Priest's computer screen reads: 'e-confession. Please type 10 Hail Marys ... and no cut'n'paste ...'

You Have 1 New Messages

'Hey, the Preacher is talking about you Dad.'