Iron Bar Bender Gifts

strong man bends an iron bar

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

'Hey! Hey! You need a trout stamp! Where's your trout stamp?!'

Alternative fielding positions

Eric Clapton.

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

'Hold it Billy - There are no praying mantises in school.'

"I warned you about putting funny stuff on the ball, Flanagan."

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

'This isn't Armageddon... it's a bar brawl on a Saturday night. Let Pestilence read the map.'

Fat Kid 28- Discovers his feminine side

Gender-Neutral Rapunzel

'Great! Now we're getting pulled over! I TOLD you that was a lint trap back there, but did you listen? Noooo!'

'So this is what you do while I'm away,'

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

Occupational Hazards.

Bureau of the Budget. If we serve alphabet soup, we can count it as a lunch program and a literacy program!

'What? I'm behind the barriers, aren't I?'

"Well, my daddy always says it's not a lie unless the Grand Jury says it's a lie."

"You might call it shoplifting officer, but I prefer to think of it as foraging."

"In this company, Simmons, we hold our hands steady in the middle and shake our bodies."

Transgender Bathroom Debate

Fun on the pyramids

'But, I'm not fishing. I'm just teaching my pet maggot how to swim.'

"He's a very alternative vicar - he's installed wind chimes.'

'Where in the rules does it say I can't keep a mascot in the goals?'

'I said you could have ONE cookie!' 'I know. I took two HALF moon cookies...'

'Never shoot straight up.'

'My ambition is to discover the Great American Loophole.'

"Don't mess with that guy. He's a real hardwood."