Involvement In Lawsuit Gifts

'This is your lucky day!'

Trial by Media

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

'What'll it be?'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"Beware of Don"

Human Recources Management

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

'Is our tent getting smaller, or are we fat cats just getting fatter?'

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

'For five years you can't get a single politician to take any notice of you...and then half a dozen turn up at once!'

Sue The Bastards

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

"Manafort's was the best flip yet."

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

The end of election 2016

Nurturing Activism

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

'Overruled, you may continue.'

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

"And the person who made all those promises, this man you loved, trusted and ran away with, who subsequently stole your life savings and then abandoned you... is he in the courtroom today?"

'After counsel said, 'You did it', the defendant said, 'Did not', followed by a, 'Did too'. . .'

Barrister asking a witness to produce burnt papers

'We find the defendant to be dead meat.'