Invoicing Gifts

'Remember to bill for the time it takes to bill for the time it takes to bill.'

Abraham Lincoln sends his first bill - Three score dollars and ten.

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

'And this is the computer that sends out our final demands.'

"I'll have your check in a moment, sir."

'Dear sir, every month we place all bills in a big pile on the table, and select six at random for payment...'

Joanna Lumley.

"I'm not sure if that bill is correct or not, sir. We just throw a bunch of charges on there to see which ones stick."

"I hope they read the fine print that the audiobook is to be voiced by Morgan Freeman."

Diplomats in the form of doormats

Morgan Freeman

Medical Billing & Coding

"No this is your contract. The other one's your bill

Home Business - Accounts.

"That's guy's got 12 personalities...address his bill 'To Whom It May Concern.'"

Humans rarely use cash anymore. It's all electronic transfers in and out. Computer algorithms target them with ads, telling them what to buy. More and more, computer programs select marriage partners for them. And now we're seeing electronics override human drivers in cars! Only alarmists worry about electronic devices taking over the world and controlling our lives. Sometimes they are just so funny!

"I always knew I wanted to be a voice-over artist because, as a child, I was British."

'I'm afraid we never use the 'I' word around here...'

"It's another poll asking if we'll ever trust another poll again."

"Of course it's hard to understand. They wouldn't be billing 'codes' , if they were easy to decipher."

'I do great voice-overs.'

"Our guest for the ceasefire meeting has arrived!"

"Your bill includes a 10% surcharge that goes towards raising awareness of the rampant overcharging in the legal fraternity."

'Mom, Dad. . . this is Tiffany. She does scream-overs for ***** movies.'

'Well so much for not needing a break clause in the lease.'

'Before I give you my bill, I warn you - I'm a black belt.'

Invoice.

"Discrimination, harassment, humiliation...men do some awful things to women, but that doesn't mean we should start picking on them!"

Recording. You need to talk faster. We only have sixty seconds to record the side effects for this pharmaceutical commercial.

'I may not look like much but f**k with me and you're dead!'

ALFRED HITCHCOCK WAS AN OLD WHITE DUDE

'What's this £25 'extra labour'?' - 'That's for the time spent drawing up the bill'.

All my invoices are together in this plastic bag!

"When I grow up, I want to be a brilliant TV recapper."