Invitation Hoarder Gifts

'It will be a big wedding, I invited all 2679 of my facebook friends,'

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"I was drawing a whale, but I ran out of paper."

'We'll take two sets, for upstairs and downstairs.'

"When I opened my cupboards at home they were full of junk food, when I opened my mailbox it was full of junk mail. I'm always afraid to open my portfolio balance."

"I've been an accountant, an actuary, an advertising exec, an administrator, an architect, an art director, and an auditor, and now I'd like to move on to the B's."

Many certificates of achievement on the wall.

"Since time is an issue, I didn't have time to organize my receipts."

"Bad news Dad, I've just received an e-Alert: The farmer's wife has downloaded a "Coq au Vin" recipe..."

"Mother, take your time, I know this isn’t easy for you. But this is an important moment in our lives, so I will ask you one more time, what on earth did you do with my old comic books?!"

Junk Mail.

"Harry Potter and the chamber of obsolete electronics."

"I didn't know I was SUPPOSED to R. S. V. P!"

'You've been on eBay again haven't you?'

"Sometimes I just enjoy listening to some of my favorite old messages."

"We're having cocktails, you should come by!"

'I'll tell you my secret peanut butter recipe, but please don't spread it.'

"These investments aren't without risk. Your mailbox might explode with prospectuses."

Computer announces to user: 'You now have more files than Al Capone had under his pillow in Alcatraz.'

'It's my secret recipe.'

'It's come to out attention that you've been hoarding intellectual properties."

Hospitality.

"She’s getting the house and cars, but you get to retain all your unique streaming services passwords."

"Even though I wasn't making a big salary, I always saved ten percent of my messages."

Colin liked to keep up with all the very latest technologies

'The Bosmans' wedding announcement? Stick it on the fridge so we don't forget about it.'

"Could you help me pick one that looks nice? I've never been good at that."

"Aside from the hours of DVR'ed shows you have yet to watch, what else keeps you together?"

"We've got 749 cookbooks...why are we eating cheese on toast?"

'Did you receive my 'save the date' card?'

"B.Y.O.P.?" "Bring your own Prozac."

Ernie, cramming a lifetime's worth of junk into every cupboard, closet and corner of your home makes you a hoarder, not a prepper.

The only guy left who's not online.

Party Tonight: Bring a bottle.

'Everybody needs candy. Everybody needs stationery. Everybody needs microcomputers.'