Invitation Hoarder Pillows

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"I was drawing a whale, but I ran out of paper."

'We'll take two sets, for upstairs and downstairs.'

"When I opened my cupboards at home they were full of junk food, when I opened my mailbox it was full of junk mail. I'm always afraid to open my portfolio balance."

"I've been an accountant, an actuary, an advertising exec, an administrator, an architect, an art director, and an auditor, and now I'd like to move on to the B's."

Many certificates of achievement on the wall.

"Since time is an issue, I didn't have time to organize my receipts."

"Bad news Dad, I've just received an e-Alert: The farmer's wife has downloaded a "Coq au Vin" recipe..."

"Harry Potter and the chamber of obsolete electronics."

"I didn't know I was SUPPOSED to R. S. V. P!"

"Mother, take your time, I know this isn’t easy for you. But this is an important moment in our lives, so I will ask you one more time, what on earth did you do with my old comic books?!"

"These investments aren't without risk. Your mailbox might explode with prospectuses."

'I'll tell you my secret peanut butter recipe, but please don't spread it.'

Computer announces to user: 'You now have more files than Al Capone had under his pillow in Alcatraz.'

"Sometimes I just enjoy listening to some of my favorite old messages."

"We're having cocktails, you should come by!"

'It's my secret recipe.'

'It's come to out attention that you've been hoarding intellectual properties."

Hospitality.

"She’s getting the house and cars, but you get to retain all your unique streaming services passwords."

"Even though I wasn't making a big salary, I always saved ten percent of my messages."

Colin liked to keep up with all the very latest technologies

"Could you help me pick one that looks nice? I've never been good at that."

'Did you receive my 'save the date' card?'

"Aside from the hours of DVR'ed shows you have yet to watch, what else keeps you together?"

Party Tonight: Bring a bottle.

The only guy left who's not online.

"We've got 749 cookbooks...why are we eating cheese on toast?"

"A paperless society is fine and all, but just in case, I have a couple reams of 24lb. bond stuffed in my mattress."

'Everybody needs candy. Everybody needs stationery. Everybody needs microcomputers.'