Invisible Shopper Gifts

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

Unfinished Funiture Store.

Unusual Offers

"Okay, lets see what we have here."

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"Extra large sanitary pads and extra small ones, pads for the night..."

"We're on our way to the mall to do some off-line shopping."

'Please enter your pin now.'

'Triple-headed razors?... Aisle seven.'

"Does it come with magnets?"

Jumble Sale

'Gee, these are great, are they dishwasher proof?'

'Can we move the beef jerky a smidge and display our organic cleanser?'

Pet shop with recipes stand outside.

'Look, we have 7 and we have 5 . . . I make that 75 �' the number of your house!'

"I got napkins, family photos, and the strongest lip balm in the city."

Shoppers of Mystery.

'I can't tell you what I spent for reasons of national security.'

"Another impulse purchase?"

Customers who bought this also bought...

'Just the fresh chicken.'

'Got any cud flavour?'

Budget cure

Fake Diplomas

"This banana I bought yesterday, when I peeled it it was empty!"

'You can tell me anything, Mrs. Rojak. I'd never violate the sacred fish store-customer relationship.'

'Sale - monopole magnets - 50% off'

'We changed our return policy about 20 years ago.'