Invigilator Pillows

"Above all do not open your sealed test booklets until you are told to do so!"

Silence - Exam in progress. 'Invigilating is not what it was...'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

'You are advised to allow ten minutes at the end for demanding a re-mark.'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

Four Types of Test-Takers...

Bright Idea

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

Giant pandas doing surveillance in a zoo.

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

'Here, we started to be investigated...'

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

The lion statues in front of New York City Library are replaced with spies.

'What an execrable day. I got drenched in a Wiki leak and buried in a document dump.'

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

Office of the Special Investigator: Stepped out to follow the 'money trail'.

'I believe the murderer is in this very room.'

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

"The DNA sample from the mink fibres found in the suspect's car matched the DNA sample from the mink coat found at the scene of the crime, so I'm thinking, maybe these minks were twins?"

"I'm thinking that now is a good time to start those tutoring sessions."

'According to this, you ate all the pies.'

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

Redacted Funnies: "Finally, the President blurted out what the country knew all along. . . . . . "

"So then how do you explain trigonometry, tough guy!"

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."