Exam Invigilators Pillows

Four Types of Test-Takers...

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Secretive Weigh In.

'I'm sorry son, parents don't like the 11 plus...'

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

'It's a deal. You don't infect me, and I don't infect you.'

'But I did study. I guess the software didn't install successfully.'

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

"I'm thinking that now is a good time to start those tutoring sessions."

'According to this, you ate all the pies.'

Army Leader: 'We have ways of making you Torque.'

International Monetary Conference in Paris- Silver Currency an Unsound Footing

"How can a student who can't speak English or Gobbledegook expect to pass?"

Pharmacy School. We're having a pop quiz. I should have known there'd be surprise drug tests in pharmacy school.

'I'm just saying... Maybe we're over doing the old 'good cop, bad cop' routine.'

"Last chance, or Max here has ways of making you talk."

Man tapping a tuning fork on another man's knee

"We'll get what we need from you. Guaranteed!" "Officer Madoff, the best stool softener on the force."

'Don't try to deny it, Jehovah - we've got witnesses.'

'We can't determine if you're telling the truth, but you should have a doctor check your pressure.'

School boy uses 'Sats Nav' to navigate his way to exam room.

Roger couldn't understand why his diet wasn't working.

'The good news is that you don't have any long-term memory loss. The bad news is it's all MIDTERM memory loss.'

'Walter, I warned you about all that angel hair pasta and pie in the sky.'

"Eating the mistakes is a tough job, but somebody has to do it."

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

"I can only give you name rank and the number of my agent..."

"Above all do not open your sealed test booklets until you are told to do so!"

Safety Pin

"I'm sorry, but he only has 75 years to live!"

"This article says that a good investment consultant can smell money like a dog smells fear..."

"Ok, tough guy, let's see if you can take the unbearable tickle of your runny nose with the facial tissues just out of reach."

"And if you did, why did you cross the road?"

"This is wonderful - a completely dust-free lab. What do you study here?"