Investment Portfolio Manager T-Shirts

"Let's just say the value of your account has gone from jumbo to fun size."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

The day the stock market went UP.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

In the Guru District

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"What's a debenture?"

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

Build Your Own Portfolio

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

The economy.

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

E.U. Banking Union.

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"Remember, money is only a tool - to make more money."

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

European currency on the edge.

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?'

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

Stock market investment advice

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

Flat tax - equal burden?