Investment Portfolios T-Shirts

'Your investments aren't under performing, they're just appreciation challenged.'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

In the Guru District

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

The president's men

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

Mario Draghi

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

Guy has framed 'first Yuan'

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

'My husband is very sensitive. He cries when he sees sunsets, old romantic films, and falling values of his 401(k)'

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?'

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

Man pushing Euro sign up a hill.

'I highly recommend this painting if you're interested in art as an investment.'

Preparing for casual dress friday at the investment bank.

Fiscal Compass for the Global Investor.

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'

'My interpretation is that it deals with the artist's utter frustration over the scarcity of remaining, reasonable equity values.'

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'