Investment Plotter Gifts

'Frankly, your investment portfolio dropping 42 isn't quite the mystery plot we're looking for.'

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

'Believe me dad. I'm on the school math team. If your investments declined 50 then increased 50 you did not break even.'

Smiling businessman with rising profits

'...your hindsight on this project was far more accurate than his foresight.'

“Son, that… ‘some this will all be yours’… is now!”

Man breaks piggy bank to find another smaller piggy bank inside.

RRSP once stood for Registered Retirement Savings Plan, now stands for Really, Really Small Potatoes!

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

'This investment fund idea looks promising, Harlow, but could you think up a catchier name than 'Ponzi Scheme'?'

'The nice thing about America is, no matter how the economy is doing, you can always blame the Chairman of the Federal Reserve.'

"She's registered at Salomon Smith Barney."

'Is there a fireman in the house?'

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

Oceanographer

"I'm super excited about this fabulous opportunity to improve!"

"Would it have killed him to create a screened-in porch?!"

"You are now $15,000 richer. I found the online password to your brokerage account 20 traders ago."

Larry, working on the great American stick-up note.

"And markets ended lower today on news that markets would end lower today."

European Commission bulldozing through Hedge fund maze

All Eggs in One Basket world headquarters

"Well, my pension was tied up in the cruise liner industry."

'So! THis is what you do all day.'

"Leading economic indicators were falling, but now they're rising!"

Finally - a software package that makes it snap to write that novel.

'Spinach: The Prequel'

"It's a lot easier to throw someone under the bus when you have the app."

Piggy Bank Shadow

"That book was so cliche. Can you believe the butler actually did it?"

"It's a new industry award for fund management. It's called the 'Pile of cash'.''

"Instead, let me be your investment advisor and get you eleven-per-cent return, year in and year out, regardless of market conditions."