Imaginative Plotter Gifts

Larry, working on the great American stick-up note.

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'...your hindsight on this project was far more accurate than his foresight.'

'They're only interested in computer generated mammoths.' (Theatrical Agent).

"If he doesn't go nuts first, he'll be the first person to ever write a novel on a cell phone."

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

'Is there a fireman in the house?'

"Would it have killed him to create a screened-in porch?!"

Christmas escape plan

'So! THis is what you do all day.'

'This doesn't look good -- the masses are huddling.'

All Eggs in One Basket world headquarters

Movies made for under eight million dollars.

Finally - a software package that makes it snap to write that novel.

'I just can't figure it out.'

I'm not avoiding you!

"It's a lot easier to throw someone under the bus when you have the app."

'Spinach: The Prequel'

Homework eaten $2

'...And after the superpowers have knocked each other out, WE take over!'

'It's Gardner's Question Time for you.'

"Ding dong ditch is fun, but it's better to watch their reactions when you pretend to be soliciting."

"I set your phone to remind you every 5 minutes of what I want for Christmas. It's annoying, but effective."

'Frankly, your investment portfolio dropping 42 isn't quite the mystery plot we're looking for.'

I have an idea for a new internet startup. What is it? I can't tell you. Someone may overhear. It's such a good idea, someone's bound to steal it if I tell even a single soul You're supposed to beg to hear it. You're not begging. You had your chance.

'Aye, he'll come up a treat next spring.'

Let's see - what kind of war should we have now?

'Have you lost the plot?'

'Shhh. He's just playin' dead. Thinks he can survive the Flush.'

"I built this scale model of town to plan out our bank robbery. I added the volcano for dramatic effect."

'You know the rules... Any news of the death of a relative to be on my desk by 5pm on the day before the match.'

Rudy says you've asked him to go shopping with you tomorrow. That's right. To be clear, we're talking about Rudy, my nephew, who you profess to dislike with a passion. Profess? Are you suggesting I actually like him? You miserable coot, I'm not merely professing, I genuinely think he's a first-rate materialistic jerk. You're up to something. It's delicious. Stay tuned.