Investment Influencer Pillows

'Why have you taken 50% of my investment?'

Counting dollars

'My commodieis ETF has more followers than yours. Is that good or bad.'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

"Do you swear to calm the jittery financial markets, all the jittery financial markets and nothing but the jittery financial markets, so help you God?"

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

"This is off our first TikTok."

'Actually, they're a hybrid. They are a blue-chip, common stock.'

Witches of Instagram

"That's right, it's @kingphilbert3rd... Yeah, with a P-H... That's him, yep, now tap "follow"..."

"I already have the perfect hashtag!"

'Get me some shares in public opinion.'

The Contrarian funds

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

And elevator with 'up', 'down', and 'pitches' buttons

'Next on 'evening shouting match'...is it a bull or bear market?'

Investments.

"Remember, if you enjoy this intercourse, don't forget to 'like and subscribe'."

"I'll have the sticky rack of ribs for my main course and something vegan for my Instagram post."

"I'd like to get my withdrawal in either cryptocurrency or social-media exposure."

"I only told a few friends."