Investment Influencer Gifts

'Why have you taken 50% of my investment?'

Counting dollars

'My commodieis ETF has more followers than yours. Is that good or bad.'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

'For those with books, open and follow along. For those with laptops, follow me on Twitter.'

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"We're not really fighting, mom. We just need a little drama for our YouTube channel. Subscribers equal money."

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

"Do you swear to calm the jittery financial markets, all the jittery financial markets and nothing but the jittery financial markets, so help you God?"

"We're staying together for the sake of our facebook page..."

Creativity 2.0

'Actually, they're a hybrid. They are a blue-chip, common stock.'

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

"That's right, it's @kingphilbert3rd... Yeah, with a P-H... That's him, yep, now tap "follow"..."

Witches of Instagram

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

"This is off our first TikTok."

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

"I already have the perfect hashtag!"

Paranoia vs Social Currency.

The Contrarian funds

'Get me some shares in public opinion.'

Investments.

"Can you take a video of me attacking the garbage so I can post it on Instagram?"

'How do I get people to visit my...'

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

'Next on 'evening shouting match'...is it a bull or bear market?'

And elevator with 'up', 'down', and 'pitches' buttons

"I'd like to get my withdrawal in either cryptocurrency or social-media exposure."

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."