Investing Influencer Gifts

'How much were you thinking of borrowing, dear?'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'For those with books, open and follow along. For those with laptops, follow me on Twitter.'

"I got 30 likes but Mom's was not one of them."

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

Changing Minds

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

'And, for the student with the most hits on his or her Facebook page, the award goes to Lisa Skemley!'

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

"We're not really fighting, mom. We just need a little drama for our YouTube channel. Subscribers equal money."

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

"Influence this."

"He has the tweeting skills of a man twice his age."

"That's right, it's @kingphilbert3rd... Yeah, with a P-H... That's him, yep, now tap "follow"..."

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'

Witches of Instagram

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

"This is off our first TikTok."

"Baldo, why do you make fun of my playing?"

Creativity 2.0

"I already have the perfect hashtag!"

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.