Financial Influencer Pillows

"Well now that you all have put in your 2p, I'd like to put in my 52%"

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

"I got 30 likes but Mom's was not one of them."

Changing Minds

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

"We've won control of the congress. Our next objective is to win control of the media."

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

'We're an international company, Mr. Zickenbarth. We've got creditors in more than 200 different countries!'

Counting dollars

Witches of Instagram

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

"This is off our first TikTok."

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

"I already have the perfect hashtag!"

"That's right, it's @kingphilbert3rd... Yeah, with a P-H... That's him, yep, now tap "follow"..."

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

And elevator with 'up', 'down', and 'pitches' buttons

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

"You're pretty optimistic about this new investment strategy of your's, aren't you?"