Introverted Friend Pillows

'You need to get out more, Harv- MEET PEOPLE!'

Nerd tryouts.

Life on Earth - The original chat room.

It's not considered drinking alone if the cat is at home.

"I'm leaving. It's just way too much collaborating."

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

'Not only do we have no natural enemies we have no natural friends.'

Emily Dickinson at a Cocktail Party: "I;m Nobody! Who are you? Are you - Nobody - too?"

'You can social network me behind my ears if you like.'

'Before you go, introduce yourself, so that I know who you were...'

'Somehow it just doesn't seem worth it for a one man business.'

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

"Who's my perfect little excuse to leave social functions? You are, yes you are."

"I have to cancel our plans. I feel a headache coming on."

"I'm more of an 'I like to watch' dog."

"How much longer with this social distancing thing?"

'I wish i could think of some way to get away form him.' 'I wish i could think of some way to get away form her.'

We bonded over a shared lack of assertiveness. Vive la diffidence!

"I still haven't cleaned up from the party."

"I handle chatty people for him."

Ouija Bored

"I moved out here for peace and quiet, but now I keep talking to myself."

"I invited a few friends over. Don’t worry – you can still be miserable."

"It's the break room, Ed. There are people in there, too. I know it's hard, after all that time working from home, but you're going to have to start getting used to them again."

'What do you mean you want to get involved in social media? You really don't grasp the idea of being a 'hermit' crab, do you?'

An exhibition is open for business while an inhibition remains closed.

Crankster - The Site For Anti-Social Networking

'Charles, we hired you distinctly because you're a people person.'

'Remember when we used to call them Wallflowers? The new term is Mingleberries.'

"I thank you guys for a wonderful time—and for giving me the opportunity to access some laughter!"

"She also sits up there so she doesn't have to talk to anyone."

"I'm trying to figure out the right headache-inducing place for my birthday."

Hi-I'm Dave. Hi-I'm off limits.

Honestly, I don't know why I even bring Harold to parties.

Three Bland Mice