Introductions Gifts

"- And my name is Teresa...Mother Teresa!"

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Hmmm ... that's interesting. Now, what about ideas that don't suck - do you have any of those?"

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

"Any questions?"

Lethal Presentation

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

'He was only reaching for his powerpoint presentation pointer.'

"Here are the new sales figures, which way up would you like them?"

'It appears the 'What?'s have it.'

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

"Perhaps this slide whistle can better illustrate what this graph is telling us."