Introduction Expert Gifts

"- And my name is Teresa...Mother Teresa!"

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

'Make up your mind, pal - there are plenty of other fish who'd give their gills for this job.'

"O.K., I admit it, we're lost, but the important thing is to remain focussed on whose fault it is."

Now Hiring, 'I was about to ask him if he could work without supervision, when he just wandered away!'

'There are facts,there are factoids, and there are just plain fun facts.'

"Job interview!"

"I can handle a wide variety of work. In fact I've had ten different jobs in four months."

"In your CV under 'experience' all you've written is 'YIPEE!'."

'You're not at all qualified. Thanks for coming in and wasting my time. We'll let you know by the end of the week.'

'Your resume states that you've worked with 2 presidents, won the Nobel Prize and climbed Mt Everest. That's all fine and dandy, but how are you at telemarketing?'

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

'Refusing to fill in a psychometric test reveals a lot about you, Jones.'

"Your resume shows you have had numerous jobs and in all of them you were rather invisible."

"What is it about the firm's global presence that most appealed to you?"

"The whole thing is basically fiction. But I just thought my resume could use some spice."

"I'd like to be the first to welcome you to our company. But, I've decided not to hire you."

"I was building up my pecs."

We hadn't realised your body language was French....

"Try a new tactic, punch back."

"Sir, the tip of the iceberg."

"...mpressive C.V.but we have an internal candidate in mind."

'I bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep! There has to be more than that!'

"Your CV is very impressive. We're interested in the person who wrote it."

'When did you become so boring?' 'I didn't! Everything around me became interesting.'

'It's an important post, I think three day interview followed by two role plays and group interview with the partners.'

'Don't worry, Finnegan... it doesn't matter how you answer the questions in a job interview. Every time they ask you something, just tilt your head sideways in that adorable way you do and they'll be putty in your hands...'

'Your resume is very impressive and you ave all the experience we need. Unfortunately, you still have the brain of a chicken.'

Being unable to clearly articulate responses to questions you face, is a common interviews mistake...

'But can you sit as well?'

"Well, I admire your assertiveness, but you might want to work on your people skills!"