Explanation Expert Gifts

'I'm exhausted! I've been JUSTIFYING all day long!'

Priest's 'To do' list.

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

Fishing Tales

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

'My dog ate my computer.'

Alarmistclock

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

"How'd I do on the test?"

"Gee, I'm awfully sorry!"

My department was abducted by aliens so there is no data between January and April.

'If we can't come up with better ideas, at least we should have better excuses.'

"My homework is not done because our home modem is tool slow for downloading the answers."

Older woman explains how to see off men with one of her looks

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

"O.K., I admit it, we're lost, but the important thing is to remain focussed on whose fault it is."

'Homework done only $1.00' 'Homework eaten only $0.50'

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

Procrastinator Hall of Fame

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

'...and that's the one that got away!'

'Would you believe, I didn't get my homework done because of PMS?'

"Once again one of your "I'm late because I was abducted and operated on by aliens" excuses?"

'There are facts,there are factoids, and there are just plain fun facts.'

'Warspeak department' making up new military terminology.

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

"Breakfast will be a little late. Our computer's down."

"Is it ne'er do wells, or ne'ers do well?"

"Your basic rule of thumb should be,the bigger the guilt, the longer the stem."

'Tell us, in layman's terms, what your breakthrough means.'

'It's not bad enough that he explains everything... He even explains his explanations.'