Expedition Expert Gifts

"Everest summit 1 km merge left"

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"Since global warming the Abominable Snowman is much less frightening than he used to be."

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

Travel Agency: Pacific time cures all ills.

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"Sorry we’re late, but apparently the journey of 1,000 miles begins with 'I know a shortcut around this traffic'."

'You say you've been hibernating in Alaska for the past 25 years. Do you think you can drive an SUV up the side of a mountain?'

'We knew of your return from your round the world trip - we could smell you a mile away!'

'Yes, It's in that direction.'

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

US Camouflage School

"The scientists are coming back to study us, so I want you both to be on your best behaviour this time!"

You're Here. Man, You Really Look Like An Idiot!

"A textbook landing..."

The peak awaited, but first they had to contend with the foothills.

Solo North pole expedition - 'Bugger!'

The Everest Experience: Cafe and Gift Shop

'It would be a kindness to tell he HAS won his Duke of Edinburgh Award.'

'My phone's been tapped!'

"How was your day, dear?"

"We'll see you soon, kids! Your mother and I have won a romantic cruise for two on some man's huge ark."

One Fine Tuesday in Antarctica

'Remember he's got a short fuse.' (Chairman of an explosives company).

'California: Here I come!'

A tortoise tries to mate with an igloo.

Explorer receiving a Valentine from a penguin.

1910: It looked like Scott would have to find his own way to the pole.

'The Tropic Resort gives you a choice, Madam, geckos or big, hairy spiders...'

"He's a lobbyist for the defense industry."

Couples Riding an Elephant

"Oh, bugger!"