Intimacy Humor Fan Pillows

"...and another thing...stop referring to me as user-friendly"

Life is for the birds.

Sauvignon Bonk

"First date hairball... awkward."

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

"Open a wine that will make me want to watch the shows you want to watch."

"You don't sniff my butt anymore."

"It's Doris Kearns Goodwin. Is there anything we'd like to know about the Presidency?"

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

'Admit it, you've been laughing behind my back ever since 1957 when we went in that hall of mirrors in Skegness!'

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

Kiss

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

'Roger, you're just a Rooster and I'm just a Hen. Is all of this necessary?'

'Looks like the Wentworths are still on the outs.'

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

'His ego needs lipo suction!'

Still Lives: 'What's wrong, don't you love me anymore?'

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

'Henry, cut that out.'

"Arouse Me!"

"Your mind is somewhere else." "My mind is somewhere else."

"Trust me. It's no big deal. I'm even tuning you out right now."

"Remember, if you enjoy this intercourse, don't forget to 'like and subscribe'."

"Well that's the last of our offspring gone - let battle commence."

'I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer.'

What do I want out of our relationship? Same thing anyone wants. Good value.

'You've been faking it, haven't you?'