Intimacy Chronicler Gifts

Couple in bed. Man enjoys post-coital cigarette while woman is on laptop. He says: 'Are you blogging this?'

Sauvignon Bonk

Relationship Warning Lights

Couple cuddle under a sprinkler with an umbrella as an excuse to be close

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"Dr. Stolner says it might be nice if I let you see my dark side."

Kiss

An evening with Stanley Bucholtz, relationship MD,,,tonight: 'Just ONE evening,,,'

"Your mind is somewhere else." "My mind is somewhere else."

"I used to know my wife's fondest dreams and desires, but now I leave that to Google."

"Arouse Me!"

Global Positioning Manual

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

'Henry, cut that out.'

"Remember, if you enjoy this intercourse, don't forget to 'like and subscribe'."

'You've been faking it, haven't you?'

'Roger, I think we need to talk about your trouble with intimacy.'

'You were hot in bed last night.' 'I know, I should have taken my socks off.'

Heart To Heart

'Instead of nagging you, Walter, I've decided to write a syndicated column!'

'I can lash out at you, unlike with other girls.'

"...and another thing...stop referring to me as user-friendly"

"Do you believe in love at first orgasm?"

You're too intimate!

"My husband's a big eater. Do you have any edible bathrobes?"

Stop whispering in my ear, it tickles!

"Was it funny for you?"

"We even tried cyber sex, but the line was always busy."

"Yes, it was good for me - not as good as it was the last time, but probably better than it's going to be the time after this."

'I don't know what's wrong with you, you seem to have celibacy on the brain!'

'I think Harry's getting serious.. he suggested we shower together.'

"My orgasm was fake."