Interview Stories Afficionado Gifts

"If we did hire you, would you be willing to lower your standards to our level?"

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

Sitting in a tree

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

Valentine Day

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

'It's a difficult position to fill. Someone who's smarter than me - and smart enough to pretend not to know it.'

Love Birds love just being together

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

Shaman reads magazine entitled 'Witch Doctor'.

'Sorry, you're overqualified for this job.'

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

You just keep giving.

You Don't Have To Be Crazy To Work Here But You Will Be After The Training.

'Sorry...you're not quite right for the position.'

'Tell me truthfully,these glowing references from the Dukes of York and Kent are public houses aren't they?'

'All of your previous employers said you are very loyal.'

A small heart within a big heart.

'Personally, I like the look of the next candidate!'

"...and how do you feel about being labelled the new Great British hope?"

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

Job Interview

"We don't want someone who will sleep 16 hours a day. We want someone who will work 16 hours a day."

The grave of Punch magazine.

'You have an online degree from the college of hard knocks'

'You'll be hearing from us! Hello?'

Detective Dinkins always made sure suspects knew how good he was at getting them to talk.

'OK, I see you've worked as a driving instructor for the past 23 years.'