Advertising Afficionado Gifts

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

Create some buzz!

'If only every year was an election year.'

Creative department

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

Important Food Groups

Sitting in a tree

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

Valentine Day

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"Hire me and I'll bring in orders. Big orders. You're gonna need a bigger door."

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

Roads with a view.

Honesty in retail

They get into debt so fast these days...

Gerald Ratner's return

Eat Beef

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."