Interview Stories Afficionado Pillows

"If we did hire you, would you be willing to lower your standards to our level?"

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

Sitting in a tree

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

Valentine Day

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

Love Birds love just being together

'It's a difficult position to fill. Someone who's smarter than me - and smart enough to pretend not to know it.'

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

You Don't Have To Be Crazy To Work Here But You Will Be After The Training.

Shaman reads magazine entitled 'Witch Doctor'.

'If I got the job as a sales manager here at Zenadine, I would probably straggle in around 10, then surf the Net for a while, do a crossword...'

'Sorry, you're overqualified for this job.'

You just keep giving.

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

'Sorry...you're not quite right for the position.'

'Tell me truthfully,these glowing references from the Dukes of York and Kent are public houses aren't they?'

A small heart within a big heart.

'All of your previous employers said you are very loyal.'

'Personally, I like the look of the next candidate!'

"...and how do you feel about being labelled the new Great British hope?"

Job Interview

Pegs Incorporated. We'll let you know.

Barry Cryer.

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"We don't want someone who will sleep 16 hours a day. We want someone who will work 16 hours a day."

The grave of Punch magazine.

"Shall I put that down as a 'Don't Know' then?"

'You have an online degree from the college of hard knocks'

'You'll be hearing from us! Hello?'

"Any chance Piers Morgan's available?"