Interview Preppers Pillows

"I'm sorry, I always fall to pieces at interviews."

'University of Xylongatnyefxodyl - never heard of it!'

"Last question. Where do you see yourself thirty seconds from now?"

'We're all out of flu vaccine - how about something for anxiety...?'

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"I'm long term unemployed because jerks like you won't hire me!"

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

"You have a killer resume, Phil, but unfortunately, we have all the dead wood we need right now."

Prepper Dog

S.O.S. vaccine

Holiday Gifts 2020

'You've got swine flu and I think it's begun to mutate.'

'Please don't read anything into the fact that I'm wearing loafers. I assure you I'm a very energetic worker.'

"I felt like 'data analyst' sounded better than 'good guesser'."

"I told you they had a tough interview process here."

Trick or Treatment.

Fair readers, please accept these personal tips for remaining healthy and germ free. Public service announcement! Keep your stress low. Exercise, eat right, hydrate and try to get a little affection in your life, if you get my meaning. If you use someone else's computer, wipe down the keyboard with alcohol to kill the germs. Ditto with the mouthpiece of a borrowed cellular phone. Don't touch anything or anyone. Bathe yourself in hand sanitizer. Don't leave the house, and if you do, don't inhale

"This isn't just about the wolf anymore, is it?"

'It's the worst I've seen in this area. Lots of chicken pox going around.'

Climate Change Contingency House

"It would be unwise to attend an interview without doing any preparation in advance.

"As you can see, hands are about to hit peak dryness, so we're predicting record lotion sales for next quarter."

'You don't have much of a work history, do you, Mr. Laren?'

". . .And are you a good listener?"

"Ned is getting ready for the oceans to rise."

"You say your biggest faults are working too hard and blind loyalty to your employer. What do you take me for… An idiot?"

"So, let me get this right. All the job involves is running around a track as fast as I can?"

Hazmat suit

Safe harbour

Sourdough starter. Mask-making supplies. Everything else

Chicken Noodle sold out.

'I see by your resume that you're full of it.'