Pandemic Preppers Pillows

"As you can see, hands are about to hit peak dryness, so we're predicting record lotion sales for next quarter."

'You've got swine flu and I think it's begun to mutate.'

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

'We're all out of flu vaccine - how about something for anxiety...?'

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

A sun opens its mouth to eat a burning Earth

Zombie Problems

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

Cheer up-things aren't so bad.....

The End is Nigh

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

Prepper Dog

'You can have a cute little boy like me. All you have to do is get pregnant.'

S.O.S. vaccine

'Relax. This is only a test.'

Holiday Gifts 2020

'I keep them around for unruly octopi, or giant radioactive spiders... you know, just in case.'

"My next book? It will probably be about rising up and crushing humanity."

Disasters

Trick or Treatment.

Fire Assembly Point

"This isn't just about the wolf anymore, is it?"

'It's the worst I've seen in this area. Lots of chicken pox going around.'

"It would be unwise to attend an interview without doing any preparation in advance.

Goldfish Insurance: " We must insure against a deluge of BIBLICAL proportions. . ."

"Ned is getting ready for the oceans to rise."

I survived end of the world after party.

"The asteroid will hit in 2032, but I’m prepared!"

Hazmat suit