Interview Jokesters Pillows

"You may, of course have to do other tasks not in your job description...how are you with raw sewage?"

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"This your resumé?" "Yes, it's a list of things I hope you never ask me to do."

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

'We like your style, but hate your substance.'

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

Extremely Practical Jokes.

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

"But you didn't say they had to make sense - you just told us to write a thousand words a day."

"I have to be honest: the job you're applying for is a real no-brainer. Are you sure you're OK with that?"

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

'Is that the extent of your work experience, court ordered community service?'

"What are you trying to tell me, girl? Are you hungry? You’re not hungry? The squirrels are skinny-dipping in the pool? Cats are making a hook rug out of your bed? You dug up Jimmy Hoffa?!" "Mitch liked messing with his dog's head."

'We're looking with someone with balls...not an enlarged prostate.'

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

'What, not even a kiss first?'

"Any other skills?"

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

"Your accomplishments speak for themselves. Unfortunately for you, I'm completely fluent in exaggeration."

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

"The good news is that you will have a healthy baby girl. The bad news is that she is a congenital liar."

Peniteniary for the terminally silly.

Clerk: 'Boy that Delivery guy sure has a THICK accent!'

'Why did you leave your last job?' 'You would too, if they sold your desk and changed all the locks!'

'I can't make it, I'm dead.'