Interview Humorists Pillows

"Your accomplishments speak for themselves. Unfortunately for you, I'm completely fluent in exaggeration."

...Gordon's sixth sense suddenly kicked in

'If bringing still wine to the interview was a mistake, is there someplace nearby where I can pick up some bubbly?'

"Of course there is still a lot of stigma attached to being undead, I hardly ever get past the interview stage."

Polly txt speak

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

Alien embryo growing in earth.

The First Fire Stick

Giant Monster in Bath

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

"She's a miniature."

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

'We like your style, but hate your substance.'

Baby being fed using a lego construction.

'So you have a PhD, big deal, everyone working here has one! The question is, what can you really do?'

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

"He looks just like your husband."

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

'No worries Grizella, let me call my 'eye of newt' guy...'

'Justin, this isn't what I meant when I said we could make out like bandits.'