Interview Investigator Gifts

"Any other recommendations?"

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

I'm a self-made man!

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

"The company is very keen on diversity, could you reapply as a woman?"

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

'It's a senior management position. We need someone who can listen politely, and then say no.'

"My biggest weakness? I'm a perfectionist."

Do you have any other skills?

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

'I treat everyone here the same as my family. . . like s**t.'

Giant pandas doing surveillance in a zoo.

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

"This resumé has the kind of sizzle we're looking for."

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"