Interview Innovators Gifts

'Human resources gave us the idea of trying 'blind interviewing'...'

'My resume,...in rap form!'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

"It's a shame, excellent recommendations and a superb skill set but lacks the boiling hot all consuming ambition and ruthless desire for self promotion required as head of stationary procurement."

'Cat job interviews.'

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

Bad Interview Technique

"This is a fast-paced job you're applying for...what are your goals...where do you see yourself in the next 10 minutes?"

'But I think my strongest asset as an employee is my aversion to pretense, coupled with an unwavering commitment to a regular-guy persona!'

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

Help wanted!...Ace Software, Inc...Video Game Tournament...Top 5 players get hired!

'How many words per minute do you type?'

"Everything looks real good...except these long gaps in your work history every winter."

Presenter Auditions.

'Vicious, intelligent and ruthless? Certainly. But I think my biggest asset is that I'm a survivor!'

"Nice touch." - Resume playing music.

"And where do you see your mustache in five years?"

This castle manager job better be for real.

"If I'd known you were not looking for experience I wouldn't have lied on my CV."

'I see you have extensive experience eating, sleeping, and mating. That puts you two steps ahead of all the college graduates who have applied.'