Interview Innovator Gifts

'Let me start by saying I wish I had your imagination...'

"Er...but we haven't said yes yet."

'Would you cart to explain this three page gap in your resume?'

"I have to admit, I've never seen anyone list 'cleaning out my desk' as a job skill."

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

'Feelings, nothing more than feeeelings that I'm right for this job.'

"How would you like to mark our territory?"

"Instead of a traditional resume, I thought it would be more impressive if I acted out my work experience in a one-man play. Scene one. . ."

"I may have exaggerated a bit about coming up with a cure for cancer."

"I didn't bring a resume. I brought coffee and donuts."

'What the ad didn't mention, and I should explain, is that we're interviewing for new customers.'

'I've had tight deadlines, if that's what you mean by performing well under pressure.'

'I said.. how long were you a DRILL INSTRUCTOR, SIR?'

'I see an applicant being hired!'

'I don't have a resume, but I have accumulated an extensive paper trail.'

We're trying a new interview technique. It's called "laddering".

"What personal qualification do you think you have that will make us hire you?"

'My former employer gave me a plus score in being merry.'

"She's an ideal candidate, masochistic tendencies, no family, hobbies or interests, a private income and she hasn't slept since 2012..."

"We do value optimism here, but nobody is going to be influenced by happy faces in the margins of your resume."

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

I'm a self-made man!

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

"The company is very keen on diversity, could you reapply as a woman?"

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

'It's a senior management position. We need someone who can listen politely, and then say no.'

"My biggest weakness? I'm a perfectionist."

Do you have any other skills?