Interview Innovators Pillows

Resume Dumpers

'Human resources gave us the idea of trying 'blind interviewing'...'

'My resume,...in rap form!'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

CEO with SEO

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

"It's a shame, excellent recommendations and a superb skill set but lacks the boiling hot all consuming ambition and ruthless desire for self promotion required as head of stationary procurement."

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

'Cat job interviews.'

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

"I see you have a lot of experience in re-tail. . ."

Bad Interview Technique

'But I think my strongest asset as an employee is my aversion to pretense, coupled with an unwavering commitment to a regular-guy persona!'

"This is a fast-paced job you're applying for...what are your goals...where do you see yourself in the next 10 minutes?"

Presenter Auditions.

Help wanted!...Ace Software, Inc...Video Game Tournament...Top 5 players get hired!

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

'How many words per minute do you type?'

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

"Everything looks real good...except these long gaps in your work history every winter."

'Vicious, intelligent and ruthless? Certainly. But I think my biggest asset is that I'm a survivor!'

"Nice touch." - Resume playing music.

"And where do you see your mustache in five years?"